Suggestive Relaxation

In the oft recited 23rd Psalm there is a phrase I am learning to appreciate. David writes: The Shepherd makes or lets me rest in green meadows and leads me beside quiet streams. (vs.2). So which is it? Make or let?

I did a little research and the one thought that bubbled to the top was the Shepherd cannot make the sheep lay down. They won’t do that until all their needs are met. Therefore, because verse 1 is true, verse 2 is possible.

But sometimes I don’t know all my needs are met because I’m so hyper-focused on my wants. I’m stomping through the wilderness wondering about when my next meal is coming (next provision) and I practically trip right over it. I’m such a dumb sheep.

But there is also a rich gift here that I have only too recently begun to recognize and appreciate.

Last fall I began utilizing a program of hypnosis/suggested relaxation to address my food/weight issues. The first thing I realized was that I didn’t know how to relax.

I have often said that as the oldest child of alcoholics (albeit functioning ones) I learned early on to be hyper-vigilant. This was a must for self-protection and in my attempts to keep my siblings from upsetting the parents. The latter was not something I did very well. The residual effects of these behaviors has left me constantly busy and pretty good at reading an audience.

Relaxing has too often felt self-indulgent. It reminds me of a book title I saw once, “When I Relax I Feel Guilty.” Intriguing while it might have been, I didn’t have the time to read it.

But rest is something different. It is holy. It is gift. It will also be the topic of my next sermon series. I found a quote which caused me to pause and reflect on my need to make more room in my life for this holy gift. The quote is from Jerry Flora’s book, “Classic Friends (p. 15).”

“On relaxing: Once Abbot Anthony was conversing, with some brethren, and a hunter who was after game in the wilderness came upon them. He say Abbot Anthony and the brothers enjoying themselves, and disapproved. Abbot Anthony said: “Put an arrow in your bow and shoot it.” This he did. “Now shoot another,” said the elder. “And another, and another.” The hunter said: “If I bend my bow all the time it will break.” Abbot Anthony replied: “So it is also in the work of God. If we puts ourselves beyond measure, the brethren will soon collapse. It is right, therefore, from time to time, to relax their efforts.”

Once upon a time a pastor was chastised by a hard working peer when found engaged in a soul-feeding pastime. The peer proudly pronounced that since Satan never took a day off, neither would they. Clearly unimpressed, the resting pastor, compassionately responded with a clear redirection: My friend you are following the wrong example. Then went onto to point out that even God rested from creative labor.

I’m not sure what you’ll be able to take away from this. I hope that you can sense the provision, presence, and promise of the Shepherd…and that you find rest for your soul. There really are green pastures and quiet streams just for you.

A Long Scrutinizing Look

We just came through the Advent and Christmas season at the church where I pastor. We have “looked” at the events of Christmas through the eyes of some of the major characters (Joseph, Mary, the shepherds, and Herod). On the final Sunday of the year I invited them to think about living with eyes wide open, expecting God to work in and through them. To drive the point home I even gave them a pair of stick-on googly eyes to put somewhere to remind them. (You can hear the sermon here: https://www.youtube.com/live/S5lCB1nqhkQ?si=YJKQyPkGFvhaobtR )

Then this morning I did my Midweek Refresh lesson (you can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/615192221/videos/1701598427084687/). In the text of Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus is speaking to the crowd about judging. One of the things I gained new insight on is Jesus concern with the hypocritical nature of their judgment. He was pointing out the negative impact of hypocrisy and holding others to a higher standard that the “judgers” held for themselves. I expressed that when I feel a judging spirit rising in me I need to turn the camera around and look into my own heart. Most often than not, the things I don’t like either about others or what they’re doing are things I don’t like about myself.

When that was done, I picked up my copy of the Message and turned to the Psalm for this week, Psalm 46. Two parts jumped out at me. I want to consider one of them here. The text is Psalm 46:10. The most familiar version is “Be still and know that I am God. Yesterday we considered the CEB: That’s enough! Today: Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, you High God, above politics, above everything.

In a devotional that accompanies The Message, I found and copied this statement into my Bible: Take a long scrutinizing look at what God is doing. This requires patient attentiveness and energetic concentration (Living the Message February 2/1).

Read those descriptors again, slowly. Let them find lodging in your mind and heart. Long scrutinization. Patient attentiveness. Energetic concentration.

Our fast-paced, over-packed, urgent and immediate life balks at the very suggestion that anything requiring more than a nanosecond of our attention is of any value. That kind of thinking will deprive us peace, joy, and love.

When we sense the gaze of our loving creator, it is the long look of pride, and delight, and everlasting love. That’s the look we need for our God. And I’m just going to put this here for us all to consider: yes, and for each other.

Today, take a long loving look at God. What do you see?

Fresh Reminders

Happy New Year!

Before I dove into my meditations for the day, I was hunting on the App Store for an app to help me better keep track of mileage. I wanted something easy (so I wouldn’t give up using it because it was too cumbersome) and free (because I knew I could go old school way cheaper than most apps with a little notebook and pen tucked in my console). I was just about to give up when I found the online/app version of the little notebook. Yay! Success.

I informed my hub of my find and declared my intention that 2025 would be the year of maintained recording! To which he expressed his gratitude and then sent this message: Only mileage for pastoral driving. Not back and forth to church. I replied with, yes. And he then sent this reassurance: Just making sure you understand. Not nagging.

My reply: No nagging assumed. I knew you were just expressing clarification and assurance. Taken as a gentle reminder.

Then I picked up my devotional, “Disciplines For the Inner Life” by Bob and Michael W. Benson (which I will be using this year as “home base” for my times of spiritual reflection. This week’s Psalm is Psalm 46. And right off the bat, I understood why.

(Side note: I purchased a new Bible and will be using it. It is the Anabaptist Community Bible which utilizes the Common English Bible translation. I am excited to immerse myself in this new translation and all its Anabaptist notes.)

Back to the Psalm: God is our refuge and strength, a help always near in times of great trouble. That’s why we won’t be afraid when the world falls apart, when the mountains crumble into the center of the sea, when its waters roar and rage, when the mountains shake because of its surging waves (vs.. 1-3)

Anybody else need the reminder that God’s is still with us? He continues: That’s enough! Now know that I am God!

I always read verse 10 as a much more gentle reminder: Be still. Sometimes a gentle reminder is sufficient. Like my husband reminding me that the expectation for tracking mileage wasn’t to be an onus or exhausting task. But this is a little different. When I hear, “That’s enough!” especially followed by an exclamation point, I hear a little more direction, maybe even borderline frustration. “Enough already! I know things feel overwhelming. I know you’re feeling fearful, frustrated, lost, and maybe like you’re in this all alone. But I’m still God. And no matter what you face “the Lord of the heavenly forces is with you.”

I don’t know what you’re facing. I just know that you, me, we don’t face any of it alone. Or we don’t have to. We can rest in the presence, promise, and provision of the great I AM. The peace of God can be known and can carry through the times when our world feels like it’s crumbling.

This is your gentle reminder, your fresh reminder as step into a new year. Let’s do this one together.

Lessons From An Earworm

Have you ever opened your eyes in the morning having a song instantly filling your mind? Have you carried a song around all day after someone mentioned the title or lyric? Have you ever had it go on and on and on for days? According to Wikipedia, this phenomenon is referred to as “sticky music” or “stuck song syndrome.

Whatever you want to call it, I have experienced this, and I am definitely feeling like it’s stuck!

I can’t find the exact commercial that is guilty of planting this phrase in my brain. I don’t remember that part. I just did a youtube search with the sticky phrase and came up with a recording by The Faces and then again by Rod Stewart. I didn’t remember any of the other words, just the one line/phrase from the chorus. I don’t remember listening to it in my youth. I didn’t know the title at all. If you had talked about the song and its title without mentioning my stuck phrase, I wouldn’t have known what you were talking about. (I remember Rod Stewart, but not The Faces.)

Have you guessed the phrase yet? Here it is: “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger.” If you want to hear the whole song you can search the phrase, or the title, “Ooh La La.”

Here’s the thing: it’s stuck in my brain, on a loop that rarely goes away. So when I woke up this morning to this phrase—which by the way I then have to sing in my head several times to get the phrase rhythmically exact, not sure why by now it doesn’t just appear correctly—I decided to reflect on it in writing here. Not sure where this is going to come out, since I’m doing some live sorting, reflecting, and recording. Here goes…

I have friends and acquaintances who say they live with no regrets. I sometimes think I must be living in a different world than them, or just done more awful and hurtful stuff because I have many regrets. I recently participated in a cool poem creating thing that was the accumulation of the things people would tell their younger self if they got the chance. It made me think of the things I would tell myself “when I was younger.”

I wonder what the people I know, who say they have no regrets, would do with my brain-phrase. When I’ve asked how it can be that they have no regrets, they respond by telling me that everything they’ve done has made them who they are. They like who they are. They learned from all their experiences and wouldn’t change anything.

Really? (Imagine me shaking my head once again in disbelief.)

I kinda sorta get that who I am today is the product of my decisions/choices in the past. Yes, I’m in a pretty good place, and I know that to “go back” and change any ONE thing would mean NOW would or could be quite different.

Here’s another thought that occurred to me on one of the days when I couldn’t shake this perpetual earworm. Could our younger self handle this mature knowledge and perspective we’ve acquired? Would they listen to us any better than their parents, teacher, or mentors when they attempt to speak wisdom into their young lives?

Having deep sorrow for my wrong and hurtful choices makes me a more sensitive and kinder me now. There is no way to go back and undo what has been done. And I’m somewhat familiar with who I was, and I seriously doubt I would have listened. I would have justified or rationalized my choices. So perhaps I should spend my time becoming the best me, the me who I want to live with for whatever time I have left.

Whenever that sticky phrase crowds back into my head, I’m going to sing it like this: I wish I lived what I have learned, it makes me much better.

Yep, that works and I’ve got that rhythm down pat.

Remembering

(A reflection written in 2009…edited today…)

Remembering. In the movie “The Sound of Music”, when Julie Andrews’ character is comforting the children in the middle of a horrific thunderstorm, she sings a song. Don’t they always when it’s a musical? The song that is to bring them comfort is a recounting of all her “favorite things.” Maybe you remember a few: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens; bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. She simply remembers her favorite things, and then she won’t feel so bad.

Remembering. It’s a biblical principle. Back in the Old Testament God’s people are told to make a pile of rocks and the children are to ask what they are there for. Then the adults are to tell the story of God’s protection and provision. This way the story would not be lost from generation to generation.

I read an article this week that made a very bold claim—or at least I thought it was bold. The author said that we forget because we anticipate that we are going to forget. And if I could remember what magazine it was in, I would put down the whole quote. In essence: we forget because we don’t remember.

Perhaps that’s why there are so many references to remembering in the Bible, two hundred thirty three according to biblegateway.com.

Memory is a fickle thing. In my work with my little lady who has Alzheimer’s, I marvel at how she isn’t able to remember our immediate conversation but she can recount wonderful stories from her youth. She can tell you her recipe for homemade bread, but as she makes it she can’t recall if she put in the yeast.

One day she had been in her room for an unusually long time so I quietly peeked in the door to check on her. She was sitting on her bed by the bedside stand with her Bible open on her lap, her fingers running over the page as she read and reread Psalms. It reminded me of a time when I visited a woman in the hospital who was very close to death. Her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. I leaned in close and heard her softly whispering, repeating the Lord’s Prayer. She was no longer conscious in this world, but her spirit was totally in touch.

Have you watched the news lately? It’s not for the faint of heart. There isn’t much “good” news being report. So we need to remember. What has God done for you, now or in the past? Where have and do you see his hand? Life is going to get harder and unless we become more intentional in our remembering, it will be very easy to forget.

Oh, and that article, it was in the January issue of Prevention, page 48.

Look, look! A brand new book!!

Hey everybody!! Here’s the cover of my soon to be released devotional. In a couple days it’ll be available on Kindle. Paperback will be ready to purchase later in the week. I’ll keep you. posted Please help me spread the word. Thanks!!

Remembering God’s Mercy

Like a horse in the desert, they did not stumble. Like cattle that go down into the valley, the spirit of the Lord gave them rest. Thus you led your people to make for yourself a glorious name (Isaiah 63:13b-14, NRSV).

What a beautiful image. Sadly they are only part of the picture. These verses are preceded by a description of the negative consequences of choosing not to follow God. This choice is also found earlier in the book of Isaiah, where the prophet speaks of how God offered the people rest but they refused it.

Thinking on that this morning I was brought to tears as I considered the struggles people I love are going through because they refuse the rest, the shalom that God offers.

Recently, I had someone tell me they couldn’t talk to me because of my religion. They were sure that I judged them, and it angered them so that they would rather not have a relationship with me…they felt they could not.

To say my heart was broken would barely come close to the pain I felt.

In both a teaching and preaching setting I’ve had the opportunity to study the word “religion” and its affects on people: both those who claim to have it and those who don’t want anything to do with it. On the one hand people who claim a faithful lifestyle, often get caught up in the rules and the appearances, lacking the ability to walk the talk with integrity. They often come across as modern day pharisees with their hypocrisy hanging out all over the place.

The unfortunate thing as I see it, is we have moved so far from the root meaning of the word “religion.” If we turn to the Latin base for our word (re-ligare) we find that it refers to re-attaching, holding out the imaging of reconnecting that which has been pulled apart. By inference then, our religion should ooze integrity: the complete integration of what we believe and how we express it.

There’s another place in scripture that speaks of rest, rest by quiet streams in meadows green–a place of peace and provision: God, the good shepherd, makes me lie down in green pastures; leads me beside still waters; restores my soul. God leads me in right paths for his name’s sake (Psalm 23:2-3).

My prayer today, for you and me, would be that we not turn away from the rest God offers; that we would not settle for a disconnected life filled with things that rob us of peace and integrity; that we would chose to be led by God–the one who knows us best and loves us most, whose promise and provision puts the pieces back together and completes and restores us. Amen.

Portion and Cup

Psalm 16:5:

You have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. (TNIV)
Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine. (NLT)
My choice, is you, God, first and only and now I find I’m your choice. (The Message)

The other day my husband went to the freezer to take out some meat to thaw for dinner and he found that the door had not been shut properly and a box of popsicles had melted, spilling sticky goop onto each shelf and down the inside of the door. We both instantly knew who the culprit was that hadn’t shut the door: the grandson. In an effort to expand our trust, we have allowed him to get his own small snacks and with the recent heat, popsicles have become his favorites. Even with constant reminders, sometimes the door just doesn’t get shut tight.

Perhaps that is why when I was a kid we were never allowed to get our own treats. What we were allowed was doled out to us. Later, when we were responsible enough to close the door, we were allowed to get our own treats, but the amount and the variety was carefully controlled and monitored by our mother. Portions were rigidly adhered to: three cookies after meals; two donuts with breakfast; one small bowl of chips; or only one bowl of cereal for breakfast. The only between meal drink was water. And the clear understanding was ‘don’t ask for any more.’ I knew when I opened my sack at lunch at school that there would be a small bag of chips, a sandwich, and three cookies.

Some might have found comfort in the consistency with which we were fed. All I ever saw was what seemed like a banquet for my friends. I rebelled against this rigidity in private, eating other’s castoffs and sneaking food whenever I was able. I never interpreted the limits as love or wisdom, only as punitive, withholding and depriving. Others had more, why couldn’t I? This lack of understanding produced a distortion that unfortunately infiltrated so many areas of my life, from food to relationships to my spirituality.

At some point in my walk with the Lord, I came across Psalm 16, and found I needed to camp out on verse 5. The more I stayed there, the more I revisited and let the words penetrate deep into my heart, the more I was able to let go of the distortions that had led me into a bulimic form of existence(binging and purging, gorging and repenting). No matter what had happened when I was a child, it was and is God who assigns my portion and cup. He who created me knows what I need and he gives me exactly what I need to accomplish his purpose in my life.

As I pondered my portion for today, I was reminded of Jesus’ teaching to the disciples in what we now call The Lord’s Prayer: give us this day our daily bread. How many of my problems would cease to be problems if I would just focus on my portion and cup today? What would happen if we would acknowledge before God that we seek no more or less than what he has for us this day?

What do you need today? What do I need today? If this verse from David and Jesus’ subsequent teaching mean anything, then it isn’t up to me to decide. We typically spend a lot of time telling God what we need, and reminding him what others need as well. How would our prayers and life change if instead we prayed: “Show me what I really need so that I can be effective in all I do?”

Just as my mother knew that I didn’t need more that three cookies, God knows what this day holds and just what I will need to meet it. So I can trust and I will find that my lot is truly secure.

Monday Mindset: Generosity

I am challenged today to think about my giving.  I have at least two friends I am aware of who have donated one of their kidneys to a family member. One gave his to his wife’s aunt.  Talk about generosity!

Today I probably won’t be donating a kidney to anyone, unless I’m dead, and then everything gets donated.  So what can or will I give?  I can give a hug to the woman who just lost her husband.  I can share a smile with the cashier who just doesn’t think anyone really notices her.  I can send a card to that shut-in who feels all alone.  I can respond to the list of needs for a family that just lost everything in a fire.

Giving can cost all or nothing at all.  As I considered this concept of generosity, I was reminded of the Macedonian church. They gave to an offering Paul was gathering for the needy.  Even though they were experiencing severe trial, they gave beyond their ability to give.  You can find this story in 2 Corinthians 9.  In verse 8 their call to giving is described this way:  “test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others.”  I had never noticed that before! So often we’re counseled away from comparing ourselves to others. But that’s Paul’s instruction to the Corinthians. It reminds me of the Old Testament challenge to try and out give God (see Malachi 3:10ff). 

I am humbled today by the generosity of my friends.  And I’m challenged.  I don’t want to be found short when it comes to being generous.  I want to be earnest and sincere.   How about you?

Hopefully Devoted: Rhythm

(A repost of a former thought…relevant for me today)

Rhythm.  I never spell that word right.  Perhaps if I were a heart specialist spending my days examining and checking rhythms,  or a professor of music, pounding out rhythms to students, I would find the word more natural to use and spell.  As hard, though, as it is to wrap my brain around spelling it, it’s even harder for me to wrap my spirit around it.

As I reflected upon rhythm, I was reminded of the movie, “Kate and Leopold.”  In the movie a man from the past is transported to modern day.  His presence changes the life of a marketing executive who is all push and drive.  Late in the movie, when Kate finally believes who Leo is, she asks him what he misses from his time.  He tells her he misses the pace and rhythm of life.

When Jesus looked out on the crowd, he was moved with compassion.  He saw how horribly out of sync they were with the Father and he told them: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

I’m a pairs junkie.  I love to watch great partners dance.  I am easily sucked into watching pairs figure skating.  I don’t think they televise nearly enough pairs/doubles tennis.  I love to see how two become one.  It’s as if they transcend anticipating the other’s moves and begin to beat as one.  I think that’s what Jesus was inviting the people, inviting us, to do. 

Last night when I got home from work, I was spent.  I had put in three twelve hour days in a row.  I wanted to crash, but my three year old grandson was here.  I love him.  He is the funnest thing on earth.  His favorite thing to do is chase.  We run through the house like race cars.  Last night he was lapping me because I just didn’t have the energy to keep up.  After his mommy picked him, I sat down to type this devotional.  I had written most of it earlier in the day.  I had felt good about being ahead.  When I went to save what I had typed, I hit no.  And just that quickly, it was all gone.  I sat in my chair, staring at the blank computer screen in disbelief.  I was so tired that I erased everything.  That’s physical weariness.

We can become just as weary spiritually by keeping a pace that we were not designed for. Think about it.  Back in the Garden, what did God and Adam do?  They weren’t practicing for a marathon.  They walked together.  Enoch walked with God, and was no more.  Jesus walked with the two on the Emmaus Road.  It seems that God’s pace is very different from our own.  And when we might expect God to walk, he ran.  He ran out to meet the wayward Prodigal Son and welcome him home.

Unforced rhythms of grace.  I love that phrase.  As I think about it, I am aware of the rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock across the room.  Its beat is so natural and reassuring.  It’s very unlike the beat at work.  To keep people working out at a healthy clip, the music at Curves has to be within a specific beat—fast.  Some of the remakes of songs make me laugh, because those songs were never intended to be sung as fast as our beat requires.  Think about “O Holy Night” or “Word of God Speak” at 180 beats per minute.  Ludicrous.  Ridiculous.  Unnatural.

So is much of our living.  The problem is this: sometimes we are called to a fast paced life.  The demands require much of us.  I would never presume to say we need to return to the pace of the Amish (though recently, the thought held some intrigue for me).  I would, however, suggest that we need to check ourselves.  Can we honestly say with Paul, “’For in him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28, NIV)”?  That’s what Jesus was inviting us to.  When we live life at our pace, we are out of sync with the Creator of life, and we will always feel out of step. 

If we are tired of being tired, perhaps the solution is to find those unforced rhythms of grace and learn how they will work in our lives.

Rhythm Postscript and A Random Thought

Rhythm Postscript: After posting a devotional on rhythm, I should have anticipated facing challenges to my rhythm.  But I didn’t.  Somehow as I was preparing for work , I found myself behind schedule.  I hadn’t eaten breakfast.  I had my tea, but I knew I’d need more than just a banana.  I decided to grab an egg biscuit at Burger King.  It’s on the way, there’s usually no one in line, and it’s under a buck.

I pulled into BK and there were two vehicles in front of me.  Sigh.  This is going to put me way behind.  The first vehicle is a van.  I can see the driver in his side view mirror.  He’s arguing with someone on a cell phone and tying to place an order at the same time.  While he’s doing that I catch a glimpse of the woman in the car in front of me.  She’s using her side mirror to help her put on her mascara.  The two cars behind me probably wondered about the crazy lady laughing hysterically in the blue Jeep Liberty.  

I read this quote from Thoreau this week: If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

What beat are you hearing?  The Father is hoping you’re keeping pace!

And one more thought:  Part of the trouble I have with spelling RHYTHM is that I want to spell it RHYTHYM…It’s never good to have too many Why’s….